Everybody's Fool
by Moiya Hatake
Summary: Oneshot - Naruto knows who he is and he doesn't love him anymore.


**Fic Title:** Oneshot - Everybody's Fool

**Character:** Naruto

**Rating:** PG-13 (for cursing)

**Warnings:** Language, angst, blood

**Summary:** Naruto finds out.

**Author Notes:** Found this in the deep dark place in my head and felt the need to write it for myself. My own version of therapy. So it may have flaws, be incoherent, stupid, suck beyond the ability to stomach. All that matters is that it's out and hopefully it took some of the poison building up like sewage inside of me with it.

* * *

Blue-red eyes gazed up into the face of his mentor. His inspiration. Ultimately his executioner.

Knowing...hurt more than he thought it would. More than he knew it should.

More than when he'd been told about the kyuubi. Hidden away from the world, behind the gate and the seal and now the waist deep sewage. The burden..._his_ burden of being it's host. He wondered if they were joined long enough if the beast would become a part of his soul as well. Maybe it already had. The instant it had been sealed away. Deep within his tiny newborn self.

But the Fourth had no choice.

And he'd forgiven him for that. For loving his village enough to sacrifice them both.

_But my own father?_

The betrayal was infinitely more painful.

Knowing hurt in a way nothing else in his life had. More painful than losing Sasuke. Again. Finally. In the end, he killed them both.

_But the goddamnnedfuckingpieceofshitfox had to save me!_

If he died the fox would die with him. It would be the end. End the pain and suffering, the slow death, the inevitable. Kakashi hadn't done him any favors stepping in. In between. Trying to stop them both when all either of them wanted was to die together. Noone else had the right to end Sasuke's life and Sasuke knew...the moment his blood red not-so-soulless Sharingan peered underneath the underneath and saw..._Saw me drowning in the waste._ Dying.

_But you took that away from me too you fucking asshole!_

There was no honor in taking your own life.

But that wasn't the reason he couldn't drag the perfectly sharpened blade across his own throat. No ceremony, just death. He didn'tcouldn'tcan't press it deeper. Didn'tcouldn'tcan't do more, feel more than the dripdripdrip of hot thick liquid and the sharp sting of metal piercing flesh. Didn'tcouldn'tcan't. For them. For Sasuke. For Kakashi. For the Fourth.

_Not_ for his own father. Not for him. Not when his not-so-brilliant mind screamed that the _sacrifice _he'd made was the worst kind of betrayal.

_Your own fucking son!_

"How could you do that to me? Didn't you love me? Did you even hesitate or feel guilt? Did you feel anything? Or did you just decide, make the shinobi sacrifice, all honor and no HEART?"

The bloody kunai flew and fell and clattered unceremoniously to the ground somewhere in the pitch black of the shadows. The wound slowly healing, adding to the flood of poison and feeling the rumble of satisfaction from the nine-tailed monster.

"Sasuke loved me enough to try and end my suffering! Kakashi loved me enough to stop us from killing each other! They died for me! _You_ died for the fucking village turning me into your tool!"

He wanted to climb up there and destroy the face, the man, the stone, with his bare hands and make them hurt and bleed. To smother the self loathing and hate and despair eating away his heart and mind. But he told himself it didn't matter. Not when he'd be dead soon anyways. _Not by my own hand._ Instead he picked apart the ruined building with it's ghosts and threw the pieces of his life. One jagged edged chunk of cement at a time. Until there wasn't anything left inside him to draw strength enough to lift his arms. Except for the waste and the demon mocking his pain.

But he wouldn't give the monster the satisfaction, wouldn't free it from it's prison. Not again. He hadn't been able to protect Sasuke. Kakashi. The village. Just the world that had no idea how close the end had been.

_You will die with me you fucking piece of shit._


End file.
